Cubs are Losers!

The beauty of history is that it teaches us where we have come from and gives an insight to where we should be going. At best, it reflects who we are; at worst, it highlights what we have still to learn. The beauty of cable television is that it sends us packets of history in neat little thirty-minute segments!

The beauty of baseball is far and deep and rich, and is tied to American history in many ways.

This winter, I am glad I have cable and history and baseball, because all three remind me that the Chicago Cubs are nothing but a team of hapless losers.

ESPN Classic recently aired game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship Series. You may recall that this was the game with the famous “Bartman Ball” incident. This was when a twenty-something fan reached for a foul ball that was heading toward the glove of a Cubs’ outfielder and knocked the ball out of reach. It was a beautiful moment! As the futility of the Cubs overflowed into a heartbreaking loss, the team went onto to lose game 7 of that series and continued the curse that keeps them from the World Series.

As an avid anti-Cub guy, I enjoyed viewing that game again, especially knowing what was coming. Now, I did not watch the entire replay – only the 6th through 8th innings as I knew the impending doom that was soon to be launched upon the Cubs and their fans. After all, I had the benefit of history’s spyglass pointing backward to that fall collapse.

Watching the moment felt the way it must feel when one sees their arch enemy falter, or how an ex-anything witnesses his or her former lover suffer some miserable embarrassment. It was sheer diabolical joy!

The Cubs are not all that our media frenzy fandom would make them out to be. They only have monumental national status because Chicago is a large city – see New York Yankees Rise to Prominence circa 1920-1935.

In 2009, when the Cubs were eliminated from the play-offs (again!), it marked a 101 year gap (chasm? void? black hole of futility?) between World Series Championships for the so-called "Lovable Losers." Yes, you read that correctly - the Cubs have not won the World Series since 1908!

Correct me if I am wrong, but that is longer than most Americans have been alive, longer than most technology has survived its usefulness and even longer than the Rolling Stones have been doing reunion tours. But, still, America loves the Northside Chicago Baseball Boys. Why?

Because we are afraid to call them what they are, and that is historic losers.

The moniker of "loveable losers" is an embarrassment to competition. Are the Pirates loved throughout the land for their now-record 17 straight losing seasons? No. Are the Indians the nation's darlings because they have not won the World Series since 1948? No! Do we adore the NY / San Francisco Giants for having not won baseball’s championship in 56 years? Of course not.

Yet all three teams are mocked endlessly by fans and pundits of the game while the Cubs are elevated to mythic status as Mistresses of the Diamond, as Charlatans of Cooperstown. Lest we forget to mention the Royals, Padres or Expos / Nationals, who have never won baseball's championship at all.

In short, losers are losers and the Cubs need to be called that -- LOSERS.

Call them chokers, perennial disappointments or yearly also-rans, but either term is a euphemism for L – O – S – E – R! They are no better than the Giants, Indians and Pirates, who, by the way, have won a combined 10 World Series titles since 1908. (I'm just saying.) It is time that baseball fans acknowledge the fact that the Cubs might never win the World Series again – goats be damned!

So the next time someone discusses the “friendly confines” of Wrigley Field (I was there in June of 1997 for a game and it was a nice outing but as cold as a Pittsburgh autumn; a.k.a. – not so friendly after all), please ask them why they root for classic losers. Or the next time someone admires Lou Piniella for his brash arrogance, I encourage you to remind them that he is at the helm of a group of losers!

Am I a bitter Pirates fan? No, not really. I embrace history. It is part of what makes baseball the great game that it is, the same magic that you just cannot explain to someone who is not a fan of our once national pastime. I am old enough to have attended a Pirates play-off game and I recall the 1979 World Series fondly. As well, I am often heard reminding people that the Pirates were once a proud and successful franchise, as were those same Royals and Expos.

In fact, had someone pulled a Rip Van Winkle in 1992 and awoken on June 27, 2009, they would have thought it was late October as the Pirates battled the Royals for a World Series title. But that was just Kansas City visiting PNC Park on a mild summer evening for interleague play, something no one knew of the last time the Pirates had a winning season...in 1992.

What is wrong with baseball is obvious – it needs a salary cap. I am not the first to have said that, nor will I be the last. Until we as fans join together and outright boycott the game for an entire season, not much will change. Maybe the Yankees won’t win the World Series again in 2010. Maybe the Rays were a fluke in 2008. They might join the Cubs and not have a post-season appearance again until 2108. Either way, it won’t be the Cubs who will be sipping November Champagne this year. And for that, we should all come to the realization that the Cubs are Losers. Deal with it! I for one will celebrate the fact.